


Another Love

by Siddal



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Consensual Infidelity, Daddy material basically, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man, Peggy already has Alzheimer's in this, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Secret Identity, Steve calls himself James, Steve looks middle aged but is actually way older, Student Tony Stark, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:27:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25244629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siddal/pseuds/Siddal
Summary: Steve's mind, in his old age, drifts to his past, the world's future. He ends up visiting Tony while he's still at MIT, just to see the world's best defender in his youth.But he catches young Tony's eye. And Tony just doesn't give up.
Relationships: Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 24
Kudos: 164





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just so we're clear. This Steve is not as old as the one in Endgame. I was thinking about points of reference. Clint Eastwood or Paul Newman in their 50s
> 
> Or Robert Redford in his 60s OR NOW! You pick. Pretty sure he's slow-aging himself.

Steve Rogers got what he wanted from going back in time. He got his chance with Peggy and it paid off. Waking up in the future, he thought he'd lost it all. But instead he spent two lifetimes, both the past and the future, gaining friends and doing good. But now with his two lives slowly meeting in the middle, he felt like he was in limbo with nothing left to do but wait until the other him takes over.

Steve gets like this sometimes, sitting on the edge of the bed, getting consumed entirely by the act of taking account of the years he'd lived. This time his thoughts turn to Tony Stark. Not the friend and comrade he lost or the genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist, but the little twerp Howard adored yet neglected. Steve remembers meeting this other Tony for the first time. The infant that would grow into the man he knew.

* * *

It was a warm evening when, Peggy came into the kitchen with the news as he'd been cooking dinner.

"Steve! Maria, Howard's wife, just had a boy!" Peggy announces excitedly.

"I know, Peg." says Steve, with an amused expression on his face.

"What? Oh right, of course you know. Silly of me." Peggy realizes what he means and is then struck by a spell of curiosity. "What's he like?"

"Peg..." Steve starts apologetically.

"Oh come on, I'll know the boy eventually. I intend to be his Aunt Peggy after all. What's wrong with a little preview?" Peggy urges him to share.

Steve's amusement fades to melancholy with a sigh.

"Promise me you won't try to change him."

Peggy frowns at the request and the change of mood.

"And how would I know if what I do is what I would have done anyway or if I'm changing him?"

Steve shakes his head with a forced laugh.

"Right, sorry. Of course. I shouldn't put that on you." He says dismissively but Peggy pushes on.

"Why would I want to change him anyway?" she asks with worry in her voice.

Steve turns off the stove and leans against the counter. He is quiet for a moment, evaluating what he should say.

"From the time I knew him and what I know of his youth, he'd had a few rough patches." Steve says vaguely before continuing. "He's a lot like Howard. A bit arrogant. A bit abrasive..."

"Didn't get along, did you?" Peggy says with a smile and an understanding look.

"Not always. Though, I did end up calling him the world's greatest defender, it took me a while to get there. I do feel a bit smug about being right about that though."Steve says with a nostalgic smile.

"He sounds brilliant." says Peggy.

"He was."

Then the invitation came.

"The Starks were wondering if we could do dinner Saturday. The party for little Anthony is on Friday and they figured you couldn't be seen attending that, so it'll be just us Saturday." Peggy say after a call from Howard.

Steve looks apologetically before saying "Peg, I can't. Tony can't know me."

"He's just a baby, Steve. It's not really him yet. He won't remember you." Peggy tries to reason with him.

Steve shrugs and says "It just seems like it could complicated things. Not for him but maybe for me. You know, emotionally."

Peggy embraces him comfortingly.

"I understand your concern, my darling. But think about it. These early years could be a gift. Once he starts to be more aware of things, then it would be unwise to see him. For now, it's just a chance to see where that brilliant man you knew began. He's the one piece of that other life within reach, don't you miss him?"

"Of course I do." Steve admits with a sad smile.

"Then come to dinner."

And he did. And he wept. And he never came to see the boy again.

* * *

That had been years ago. So much has changed since then. Peggy grew ill. Her good days were slowly getting outnumbered by the bad ones. Losing that connection to the world made him something of a recluse. Invitations from the few friends that knew of his survival, were rebuffed with excuses of tending to his wife. Much to his wife's displeasure. She insisted that he should live his life, saying in her lucid moments that he had no excuse now that he didn't look like he did in his trading cards anymore. But when the conversation turned to him still having his strength, his looks, the few good years he still has in him, Steve insisted they talk about something else.

Thinking of the past, Steve could hardly avoid thinking of the future. Aside from what's already happened, lay what's left to come, what loomed before him. It was only a matter of time before the Winter Soldier comes back into play, before resisting rescuing his friend becomes that much harder, and before he loses Howard and Maria. Rather, only a few months before Tony loses his parents.

Steve is shaken from his thoughts by a hand reaching out to caress his back from the bed behind him.

"Warm me up will you?" Requests the voice of a young man.

Steve obliges, lying back down on the bed and taking a young Tony Stark into the warmth of his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve is all the way in Cambridge, Massachusetts, staring at the posted schedule for a thesis defense. He's not entirely sure what possessed him to see the boy he'd avoided all these years. It was risky. He wasn't entirely sure what he meant to accomplish here. He knew what he couldn't do and what he wanted to do was very much in that category.

Still, he finds his way to a seat at the very back of the auditorium. There is a smattering of students towards the front and a panel of professors watching the presentation of a visibly nervous hopeful.

Steve looks around the room for a younger version of his friend. And perhaps it was the lack of facial hair that duped him, but he was quite startled from his search when one of the professors called out for Anthony Stark, and one stood up from a section of the room he was sure he already looked in.

He was cocky, loud and sure of himself. Or perhaps more accurately, he was sure of his work. As expected, Tony Stark is brilliant. He was all wide grinds and was obnoxiously fashionable, like an exaggeration of his future self. But Steve saw beyond it. He saw the boy’s scanning eyes.

Looking for approval? Maybe not approval. Attention? Applause? Perhaps he’s simply compensating. Natural for a man of his age to have insecurities, Steve thought, as valiant an effort Tony’s natural confidence fought against it. But the bombast and the flair? Tony’s eccentricities were never an act but at this volume, it was all to show how different he was to his father. If only he knew the man as Steve did.

Something that Steve Rogers wasn’t known to take part in, was smiling softly out of fondness when Tony Stark gets in the mood for discourse. But with this younger Stark’s enthusiasm, the tangents he’d go on every once in a while; the casual, conversational way he spoke of things that people on Steve’s level could barely comprehend; it was suddenly endearing in a way it never had been before.

Steve’s gripes when it came to Tony was that he always seemed to be of two minds in things. A true narcissist one moment and then self-destructive and guilt-ridden the next. His lack of boundaries sometimes yet abundance of it in others. But Steve always respected the man’s skill, his opinions and how open he is to change them given the right data. He saw the value in the man’s foresight despite it occasionally leading the team to places they didn’t want to be.

That being said, Steve Rogers is not usually given to basking in the utter Tony Stark-ness of Tony Stark. It’s like he came here to see a friend and was surprised that he actually found him, and was surprised again that he was happy about it. How could he have expected to find Tony Stark as anyone but himself, if not himself at full blast?

“Thank you, Mister Stark.” Says a professor, followed by an awkward applause from the students who realize they hadn’t done that for the other presenters.

Tony scoffs at the display, as if to say ‘Of course, you’d clap for me.’

* * *

Steve quietly slips out of the auditorium after that. In a daze, he walks and eventually finds himself in a bar near campus, nursing a beer that will never have the effect he wants it to.

“Buy me a drink, will you.” Says a man who’s just sat next to him.

Steve turn to look and is shocked to see the man occupying his thoughts in the flesh before him.

He composes himself for a second before replying with “Are you even old enough to drink?”

“Very nearly. But until then, I’ve got you. So, how about it?” Tony says with a smirk.

Steve’s not entirely sure if he wants this Tony to stick around or not, but knowing a version of the man, he knows there’s no point resisting on this one thing.

“Got a preference?” he asks.

“I’ll have what you’re having.”

Tony looks over Steve like a predator sizing up its prey. His eyes linger until his drink arrives. Then he takes a sip and immediately grimaces.

“That’s disgusting.” Tony says as he slams some cash on the bar. “Tell him to give us a bottle of their best whiskey.”

“You really don’t have…” Steve starts to refuse the money.

“Trust me. Their best ain’t the best and it's not at all expensive.”

Steve surprises himself by yielding and doing as he’s told, where he’d usually fight Tony on. Still, he hardly thinks Tony has any idea what expensive actually means.

They wait patiently for the bottle. Tony waves away the bartender and pours out two glasses for them, both over two fingers full.

"Cheers." Tony says with a smile and Steve goes along with him and clinks their glasses.

“So, what's your name, handsome?” asks Tony.

Steve pauses, thinking of what to do.

“Come on! I bought drinks. Surely, I deserve a name.” he pushes.

“J…James.” Steve blurts out.

“Forgot your name for a second there did you? My best friend’s called James. But then he also has a last name.” Tony says playfully.

Steve suddenly can't think of anything else and figures it's a common enough name, and says "Rogers.”

“Oh, explains the resemblance.”

Steve's heart picks up the pace.

“Sorry?”

“You look like Captain America. Anyone ever tell you that?" Tony says, leaning close.

Steve swallows visibly.

“Sure. But I’m not related…I don’t think.”

Tony looks up prettily from behind the rim of his glass.

“Hmm. You might be a tiny bit better looking. I do like a man with some years on him, the wonders it does to a man's looks...and experience. ” Tony adds with a bite of his lip.

Steve thinks his jaw must be on the floor and consciously closes his mouth. He never realized that Tony also liked men before.

"Oh, sorry. I don't mean..." Says Tony, realizing how he'd caught the man off guard. "You must not be from around here. Most people who are, are pretty used to me being inexplicably flirtatious. It’s just how I talk."

"No problem." Says Steve, thinking the flirting would stop now. But an awkward silence takes its place.

An urge to fill the silence over taking him, Tony asks "You haven't asked me for my name yet."

And Steve replies with "I saw your presentation earlier." 

Tony's eyes brighten.

"So, that _was_ you who ran out!"

"I didn't run out."

"You know, you really shouldn't barge in or leave a presentation like that, might put a guy off.” Tony says in a mock reprimanding tone.

"You seemed unfazed." Steve says.

"Didn’t help the bundle of nerves who came before me. Anyway, what did you think?" Asks Tony before Steve has a chance to feel guilty.

"I understood about a third of the words you used." He says.

"A third’s pretty impressive." Tony smiles.

"Well, I've known a few scientists." Steve says with a shrug.

"But you're not one? You a humanities professor or something?" Tony asks.

"Sure. Let’s go with that."

Steve knew it was a mistake the moment he said it.

"Mysterious. I’m into it."

And the flirting's back.

"Ever think that you shouldn’t be?" Steve tries to discourage him.

"And dangerous. Definitely into it." Says Tony, not heeding Steve's warning.

“So, this isn't just how you talk.” Says Steve, a warmth rising in his cheeks.

“Oh it is, but put a fine piece of a...cademic in front of me, you can bet there’s motive behind it." Tony says, his eyes sweeping up from ogling Steve's ass. "You're interested at least.”

Was he? Steve checks himself and realizes he’s leaning closer now too.

Backing away, Steve says “Mr. Stark, I don't think...”

Tony’s smile drops, realizing Steve might not be into men.

“Oh. I really thought you were…I’m usually good at spotting people.”

And for some reason Steve’s not sure of, he says “It's not that.”

“Please don't tell anyone about this! My dad will kill me.” Tony pleads.

“I'm sure he's not that conservative.” Steve says.

“Please?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks. He'd probably be more concerned about how it looks to the press, anyway.” Tony says bitterly.

Another awkward silence takes over once again. And again Tony’s the one who can’t stand but break it.

“So, are you...interested?” Tony leans his cheek on his hand.

He’s persistent, Steve thinks.

“Mr. Stark…”

“Tony.”

“Tony. Don't you think I'm a bit too old for you?” Steve tries to reason with the man.

“So, you're older than me. But what's too old, anyway?” Tony says with a dismissive wave.

“Around your father's age?” Steve suggests cautiously.

Tony takes a moment to really look at him before saying “You don't look it.”

And Steve thinks ‘if only he knew just how old’ before saying “That's not the point.”

“I really don't mind.”

“I’m not really a professor.” Steve confesses. “I wasn’t invited to that presentation. I could be some kind of predator...”

“Are you?” Tony looks at dubiously.

“No!”

“Figured as much. Last I checked, MIT wasn’t a middle school.” Tony teases.

“You can’t just…”

“What? Come up to an attractive guy at a bar, flirt for a bit before saying ‘Hey, I’m pretty sure I just aced my second thesis. Want to celebrate with me?’”

Tony looks up at him and it's seductive, suggestive, but also oddly hopeful. Steve's never been at the receiving end of Tony's charms. He's observed it but this perspective is not one he thought he'd ever get. He’s blushing and unfortunately, he can’t blame it on the drink. Steve’s shocked to realize he’s actually considering the proposition. That’s all this day is, it seems – shocking.

Steve can’t seem to answer and as the seconds pass, Tony’s grin just seems to get more and more gleeful.

“Second thesis?” Steve finally speaks, trying to move the conversation into a different direction.

“It’s for my Masters. Thinking it might be time to move on, actually. I could go for my Doctorate but I don’t really need university resources for my work. Dad’s pretty loaded.”

“You seem rather young…to be completing you Masters.”

“You seem pretty hung up on this age thing.”

Steve’s to slow at picking another topic and Tony takes the reigns again.

“Can I call you Jaime?”

The question seems to have come out of nowhere.

“What?”

“Or are you a Jim? Jimmy? Jay? No. Jaime seems like a better fit.” Tony smirk.

“Picking nicknames now?” asks Steve, despite knowing from experience that nicknames are kinda Tony’s thing.

“Well, if you won't let me, I'll just have to call you daddy.” Tony's whispering now, and somehow it makes the words more sultry than they already were.

"I don't th...think your father would approve."

Steve feels like he's stumbling over his words. Nervous. Excited. 

"Oh, he won't but not because of the moniker. Never called him daddy even as a kid. He's a right bastard."

Tony downs his drink. Steve looks to the bottle and they seem to have drank quite a bit of it. Tony must have been refilling their glasses this whole time without him noticing. He's suddenly worried about how much he's drank, his own behavior making him think he's suddenly susceptible to alcohol.

Steve takes a deep breath, trying to slow his heartbeat.

"Estranged?" he asks.

"Not enough. I see him all the time. Can't avoid a man that famous."

"Famous?"

"Yeah, he's... You don't know Howard Stark?" Tony looks at him, suddenly taken aback.

"Oh right, I didn't realize you were that Anthony Stark." Steve tries to act surprised which wasn't much of an endeavor given the events of the day.

"You didn't?" Tony asks, his confusion turning to delight at supposedly not being recognized. "Well, I am."

"Must be difficult. Your father's well loved." Steve unintentionally endears himself to Tony further.

"Oh yeah. I don't get how though. He's just an engineer. They all look at him like he's the Walt Disney of arms dealing. It gets old. I get dragged to these galas and into small talk with all these politician country club society types and they all keep telling me about how great the old man is. _Brilliant man. True patriot_. It's not like the man ever fought in the war."

Tony suddenly feels like he can tell this James anything.

"He was a pilot wasn't he?" Steve asks.

"Not a fighter pilot. He was more of a taxi service for the higher ups. Now, Captain America was a true patriot."

Tony's genuinely smiling now. Setting aside his usual seduction tactics for easy conversation. Steve thinks it makes him look even younger.

"You like his films?" 

"He was a soldier! And not just some guy doing rescue missions like in the news reels either. Those Howling Commandoes infiltrated dozens of bases, research facilities. The Allies never had to face the worst that the Nazi's science division was cooking up because the Howlies destroyed them all."

Tony's enthusiasm on the subject took Steve off guard.

"How do you know all this?" he asks, though he 'd rather ask when Tony decided he liked Captain America. 

"My dad kept files. Top Secret files." Tony said with mischief in his eyes.

Steve caught himself smiling now. Laughing even.

"You're a menace."

"I know. You should discipline me, Captain." Tony teases him, not knowing the panic he's causing.

"What?" Steve asks, on guard again.

"What, you don't like it? Let me call you Jaime, then." Tony pushes.

Steve relaxes.

"Seems like there’s no stopping you there."

Tony chuckles before saying "You know, I haven’t worked this hard for a hook up in years."

"Then maybe you should go looking for an easier option." Steve suggests half-heartedly.

"I just delivered my thesis. You think I’d be looking for something easy?"

"Wouldn’t most people?"

"To blow off steam, maybe. But like I said, I’m celebrating."

They take a moment to just look at each other, but then the bubble is popped when another voice comes in.

"Hey, Stark. How about you take this somewhere else." says the bartender.

Steve takes offense at this and frowns at the man.

"Excuse me!"

Tony puts a hand on his chest.

"Calm down. He isn’t kicking us out. Travis is just looking out for me. Thanks Trav." says Tony, nodding at the man.

"Get home safe, man. And I know what your guy looks like if you don’t." says Travis, looking at Steve.

"Put the claws away, ladies." Tony says with a chuckle.

Tony gets off his seat before looking expectantly at Steve.

"So, how about it? You gonna get me home safe, Jamie?"


	3. Chapter 3

Tony’s apartment apparently isn’t that far from the bar. They walk in comfortable silence. Tony however, is hanging on to Steve to stay vertical. It was unusual to meet a Tony who couldn't hold his liquor, at least not as well as his older self, but also endearing. But then one couldn't help but think on the things that turned Tony to drink.

Steve’s thoughts must have been clear on his face, because Tony pokes the side of his lip before saying “Frowny face. Am I bothering you? I hope I’m not bothering you…”

“You’re not. Just thought of something.” Steve forces a smile for Tony.

“Bad thoughts. I can give you some good ones instead.” Tony says with a smirk.

“'Good' might not be the most accurate way to describe what I think you’re suggesting.”

Tony sniggers at this.

They stop outside of a very expensive looking building, a place more for businessmen that students.

“So, this is you huh? Swanky.” Says Steve, looking up at the modern architecture.

“It’s pretty _swanky_ inside too.” Tony says teasingly.

“I’m sure it is.” Steve says with an apologetic smile.

“Come on! Just have another drink with me and if you’re really not feeling it…”

“I’m not sure you can handle one more drink.” Steve tries to reason with him.

“Ugh! I’m fine! We drank just about the same amount.” tony argues.

“I have a high tolerance.”

Tony scoffs. “Oh because you’re such a party animal, are you? Come on!”

Steve sighs, yielding finally.

“Fine! But just so I know you don’t fall down an elevator shaft.”

Tony pumps his fist like he’d just won something and Steve just rolls his eyes at his antics.

* * *

They enter the apartment and it is sprawling. It’s almost as big as his house on the inside.

“Hell of a lot of space for one person.” Steve comments.

“You expect me to host parties in a tiny one bedroom apartment?”

“They let you have college parties in this building?” Steve asks.

“Had the place soundproofed.” Says Tony as he struggles to turn on a record player. “God! Once I get my own place, I’d have all my buddies do this shit for me?”

“Your buddies?” asks Steve.

“Yeah, just a few robots. Dad won’t let me have a full lab in this place. Gotta work all the way back in campus. Something about being considerate to your neighbors.” Tony rambles until he finally gets the thing to play the track he wants. “Eureka! I’m a genius!”

Led Zeppelin’s Whole Lotta Love fills the room. Tony slowly walks towards Steve at an inebriated attempt at seduction, .

Tony puts his arms on Steve's shoulders, and grinds against him for a bit, drawing a blush from the older man. He then fiddles with the buttons on Steve’s shirt as he asks “So, what’ll it be? I got better beer here. Better whiskey?”

“How about coffee? Hmm.” Steve suggests.

“Suit yourself.” Tony pushes Steve onto the couch before heading to the fancy espresso machine. “I’m not trying to get you drunk by the way. You’re free to leave. I just rather you didn’t.”

“I know, don’t worry." Steve reassures him. "If you were trying to get me drunk, you’d be sober right now.”

“Ugh! I told you I’m fine.”

Tony returns to sit close beside Steve, handing him a cup of coffee and keeping a glass of whiskey for himself. Steve deftly switches the two drinks well within Tony’s view, without earning any protest. Tony takes a sip of coffee and simply hums.

Steve chuckles and shakes his head, before tasting Tony’s fancy whiskey.

“Hmm. That is worlds better than what they had at the bar.” He says before setting the glass aside on a coffee table.

Tony looks between the two drinks with confusion only to set aside the cup on the table as well. He returns his focus on Steve, puts his hand on his chest, feeling the muscles underneath.

“You’re in pretty good shape for your age.” Tony points out.

“Just prefer feeling healthy.” Steve says with practiced ease.

Tony takes it differently, however.

“Hmm. You disapprove of my drinking.”

Steve shakes his head and says “No. I just think maybe you should slow down. You do have a stranger in your home.”

“I can tell that you wouldn’t do anything to me that I wouldn’t like. Question is, what about doing things to me that I _would_ like?”

Tony leans in, catching Steve by surprise with a kiss. Steve closes his eyes, savors the contact for a moment before drawing back as if he’d been burned.

“Tony, I don’t think…”

“Give in. I won’t tell if you won’t.” Tony says, almost begging.

And Steve gives in. All the shouting voices in his head; shouting about Peggy, and Space-Time, and Future Tony, and God help him! Howard!...all silent as he initiates another kiss.

“Yes.” Tony celebrates quietly, crawling closer, holding tight.

The kiss gets heated. Hearts beating out of chests. Fingers drag on scalps. Lips drifts onto jaws, ears and necks, returning to lips, demanding entry.

Steve groans deeply when he first tastes Tony. Tony whines excitedly in return and crawls onto Steve’s lap. He grinds his crotch down on Steve and Steve follows suit. Steve looks up at Tony, breathing hard and smiling down at him, and he can’t help but smile in return.

But then Tony changes expression. He places a heavy hand on Steve’s chest to stop the motion and it does. But his head is still spinning. Tony stands up abruptly, just stands for a moment, feeling out his body. He then rushes to the bathroom. Steve runs after him and finds him slouched over the toilet.

Again, this Tony’s minimal alcohol tolerance surprises him, but his surprise is hardly helpful right now. Steve crouches beside Tony and rubs the young man’s back encouragingly.

“Talk about a buzz kill!” Tony says irritably before throwing up some more.

“Maybe we’ve celebrated too much, too fast.” say Steve.

“We’ve just started celebrating. I may have indulged in the prelude. Fuck, I’m still hard.” Tony whines.

They sit there for a while, waiting to see if Tony was going to throw up some more. Eventually, Steve helps him stand and directs him to the sink to wash out his mouth.

“Well, you may have wanted to hear this in a different context but…Which way to the bedroom?” asks Steve and Tony points to the right.

Steve helps him to walk, but when his balance doesn’t return, Steve resorts to a bridal carry.

“Whoa! You really are fit.” Tony comments.

“Still dizzy?”

“Maybe a little.”

They get to the room and Steve sets him down on the edge of the bed.

“Where are your PJs?” Steve looks around.

“I don’t…” Tony says before drifting.

“Sweatpants?” Steve asks before finding some in a drawer on his own, and hands them to Tony. “Did you eat before?”

Tony looks at Steve questioningly before shaking his head in response.

“Got biscuits or something?”

“Cupboard.” Tony replies with a frown.

In seconds, Steve leaves and returns with a small packet of biscuits. “These should help a little.”

As Tony nibbles on some biscuits, Steve proceeds to help Tony out of his jeans and into the sweatpants.

He lays Tony down and tucks him in. And it’s only then that Tony realizes that Steve’s set an ice bucket beside the bed. In case he needed to throw up again he imagines.

“Why are you helping me?” Tony asks.

“Why wouldn’t I help you?” asks Steve before sipping in his now combined coffee and whiskey. “And you did buy me drinks.”

Tony just lays there staring at him for a bit until he drifts to sleep, saying in his last seconds of consciousness “Thanks Jamie.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit short this.

Tony wakes up to the smell of bacon. He scrambles up to sit in his bed and tries to remember the night before. He looks towards the door as Steve enters with a tray of food.

“Perfect. You’re awake.” Steve says as he sits at the edge of the bed.

“Jamie? Did we...?” Tony asks.

“No.” Steve says curtly.

“That's embarrassing.” Says Tony.

Steve looks him over for a second before saying “It wasn't because you couldn't get it up.”

Now it’s Tony’s turn to look him over.

“Oh. You really are a weirdo then. Most people around here would sleep with me just so they can say they have. Don't matter if their straight or not. I'm like a barometer for how raging a party is. If Stark went home with three people then it’s pretty crazy. Only one person slept with Stark, then it was a pretty lame party.”

Steve shook his head.

“Well, no one slept with Stark last night. You were hardly conscious. And well, you already figured I wasn't from around here.”

“Well, I'm conscious now.” Tony offers.

“I'm surprised it hasn't gotten to you yet.” Says Steve.

“What hasn't?”

“Opens windows.” He nods towards them.

Tony unthinkingly turns towards the light and winces. “Fuck! Have mercy!” He says as he hides under the covers.

Steve chuckles before offering “Breakfast?”

“Sure, asshole.” Tony says with a frown but then bites into a strip of bacon.

“Still an asshole?” Steve asks.

“An asshole with bacon. No! Wait. Why did you stay?” Tony wonders.

Steve blushes.

“You were in pretty bad shape last night. Thinking back, I’m pretty sure you actually drank most of that cheap whiskey last night. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“You tucked me in last night. You dressed me.” Tony recalls.

“I did.”

“And now you bought me breakfast.” Tony says in a questioning tone.

“Well, this was from your pantry. I thought about buying but I didn’t know if I could get back in.” Steve’s blush deepens.

“You cooked me breakfast then.” Tony looks at him as if he’d grown a second head. “And after all that, you’re still not gonna sleep with me? Did you sleep on the couch?”

Steve sighs.

“You, know nothing about me.” Steve reminds him.

“I know your name, so I know you better than most of the people I’ve slept with in the last year.” Tony says matter-of-factly, almost smugly.

“I’m married.” Steve adds, only fazing Tony for a second.

“You won’t be the first married man to have a pretty young thing on the side.”

“I thought I was meant to be _your_ conquest not the other way around.” Steve teases.

Tony gives him a heated look.

“I could be.”

“Haven’t I been enough trouble?” Steve tries to discourage him again.

“My problem is that you haven’t been any trouble.” Tony says with a smirk.

“Mr. Stark…”

“We’re back to Mr. Stark now?” Tony asks to distract him.

“Tony…”

Tony interrupts him again.

“I recall mentioning being into your mystery, your danger…your ass.”

“You didn’t mention the ass.” Steve reminds him.

“Well, now I have.”

“My wife is ill.” Steve says bluntly.

This finally gives Tony pause.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Tony says, looking chastised.

“She’s been telling me to live my life, maybe find someone.” Steve elaborates.

“That’s modern.” Tony looks confused but also hopeful.

“I _had_ no intention of taking her up on that.” Steve clarifies but his use of past tense bolsters Tony’s hopes.

“Had?” Tony asks but gets no reply. He chooses his next words carefully. “You said I don't know you. So let me get to. Why were you really in that presentation?”

Steve thinks he should probably leave before this goes too far. He knows that he shouldn’t explain this to Tony, it will either just be confusing or completely catastrophic. But leaving Tony with more questions just feels wrong. He knows Tony will either keep looking for answers leading to terrible consequences, or the questions would just continue to eat at him. And before Steve realizes he’s made a decision, words are already coming out of his mouth.

“You remember I told you I was friends with scientists?”

Tony nods.

“I knew them when I was in the military. Secret stuff. I guess I was just, reminiscing. You caught my eye, yes. Because you remind me of a friend.”

Tony thinks he had not been the purpose of Steve’s visit. He thinks then that perhaps his interest was not returned. Then idea popped into his head.

“Please tell me you don’t mean my dad. Is that why you didn’t want to sleep with me? Oh God! Is he your ex?” Tony asks with a cringe.

“I don’t mean your dad. My secret stuff aren’t the same as his. I promise.” Steve reassures him.

Tony nods despite still not understanding.

“I don’t know why but I believe you.”

Steve smiles at this and continues.

“My friend...The curious thing is, I was never interested in him the way I am interested in you.”

Tony’s eyes grow wide in shock at the statement.

“You’re interested in me?” asks Tony, receiving a slight nod in reply. “But why would that make you so reluctant to sleep with me?”

Steve scoffs at this.

“Because it's just weird!...And because I lost him. Because I hurt him. Because I don’t want to replace him. There are a number of things swirling in my head and things I feel I don’t think I can ever articulate. But I want to set it all aside…because I do want this.” Steve admits, surprising even himself. He then shakes his head before saying. “Jeez, this is way too much baggage for just a one night stand.”

Tony chuckles surprising Steve even more.

“Maybe. But maybe it'll be worth it if you go out with me too.” Tony suggests.

Steve looks at him in astonishment.

“Why are you so set me?”

Tony shrugs.

“I don't know. I just thought you were gorgeous the moment I saw you. Then you rejected me several times, but you also walked me home, took care of me and made me breakfast. You're not exactly making yourself less intriguing there.”

Steve is a bit unnerved by the flirtatious look Tony gives him, but he can’t stop himself from smiling either.

“You know what this breakfast is lacking? Coffee.” Says Tony.

Steve is suddenly skittish.

“Oh yeah! Sorry, I don’t know how to work these old espresso machines.”

“Old? I’ll have you know, mine’s one of the newest in the market. And I’m not asking you to make me coffee. I’m asking you to have coffee with me.” Tony clarifies.

“Oh.”

Tony looks at him expectantly.

“Okay.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> coffee?

They end up walking to a café near Tony’s apartment. Some ways away from campus, it’s quiet without the rowdy college crowd. Steve orders an Americano with his bacon and egg sandwich. To his surprise, Tony orders another sandwich for himself along with a latte.

Feeling Steve’s confused look at his second breakfast and choice of beverage, Tony explains.

“Fat, protein and complex sugars. I may be as gorgeous as always, but I still have a hangover.”

Steve nods at this.

“You always take your coffee that way?” Steve asks, thinking he’s found another difference between this Tony and Future Tony.

Tony raises an eyebrow at him.

“You gonna psychoanalyze me based on how I take my coffee? I find that caffeine and milk tend to help with my current condition.”

Steve shrugs with a chuckle.

“I’m not trying to psychoanalyze you. I’m trying to get to know you. Isn’t that the purpose of a date?”

“This is a date?” Tony asks with a smile.

Steve blushes, thinking he’d overstepped but Tony smirks, clearly just teasing him.

“I’m kidding. I just didn’t think you were ready to commit to the word ‘date’.”

“Well, it’s happening whether I commit or not.” Steve says offhandedly drawing a frown from Tony.

“I’m sorry. Am I holding you here against your will?”

Realizing that he’s upset Tony, Steve immediately apologizes.

“Sorry…I…I did agree to this. I don’t dislike you and I am interested. Just takes a while to shake off the reluctance since…age…marriage.”

Nodding at Steve’s muddled reply, Tony decides to give the conversation direction.

“We just met yesterday and now I’m asking you to consider cheating on your wife. We’ve waited to long for this to just be uncomplicated sex. So the way I see it, this either turns into an affair or just a date that goes nowhere and we never see each other again after.”

“Or we could be friends.” Steve suggests jokily.

“Dry humping’s a bit of an odd way to start a friendship.”

Steve laughs before saying “There are worse ways.”

“Well, we won’t know where this goes unless we give this date the old college try.”

Steve agrees with a nod and Tony continues.

“So, what’s the deal with your wife asking you to find a side piece? Open relationship?”

“No. She’s sick and I spend most of my time taking care of her. It’s not really my training and she’s got people who are trained. So in her lucid moments, she makes it her mission to get me to live my life.”

“And living life means visiting MIT?” Tony asks.

“Not specifically.”

Tony decides to steer away from Steve’s purpose for being in Cambridge, sensing that he doesn’t feel he could share just yet. Tony latches onto something else.

“Lucid moments?”

“Alzheimer’s” Steve says plainly.

Tony looks reprimanded for a moment.

“Fuck. I’m sorry. Hell of a woman to suggest dating to an antisocial husband though.”

“She thinks I’ve still got my looks.” Steve says with a huff.

“She’s not wrong.”

Steve cringes a little and says “This is a weird conversation.”

“Is it?” Tony asks sarcastically.

Steve chuckles before asking “What about you?”

“What? I don’t have a wife. No salacious backstory here…aside from the general…salaciousness.”

Steve laughs again.

“Wow. I’m on a roll here. Making you laugh must be a point in my favor, right?” asks Tony.

“It’s not a point against you.”

Steve gives a smoldering look that makes Tony blush, before he continues.

“But really, beyond the tech, sex and daddy issues we all see in the tabloids, what’s the real Tony Stark like?”

Tony shrugs.

“’Tech, Sex and Daddy Issues’ could be the title to my autobiography. So, I guess there’s really not much else.”

“I highly doubt that.” Steve says earnestly but Tony goes for sarcasm again.

“Does my soulful eyes tell you that?”

“No, your deflecting does.” Steve says bluntly.

“Ouch! Right in the nuts. Are you my date or my shrink?”

Tony says with a smile, finding that he’s found a smartass to match him.

“Right now, I’m your…thesis adviser. Probably.” Steve looks around at the other patrons in the café.

“I just finished my thesis.”

“They don’t know that. What they know is that Tony Stark isn’t gay.”

Tony shakes his head.

“The folks back in campus would disagree.”

“But that’s just Tony Stark being a crazy college student. Cock’s just the new molly.” Steve says jokingly, putting on a voice.

“Molly?” Tony asks with a frown.

Steve tries to hide his anxiety, correcting himself with the more appropriate slang.

“Ecstasy.”

“Oh. What?” Tony asks, more confused.

“I don’t know why it’s called that. Do you kids call it that?” Steve tries to dismiss the word.

Thankfully, Tony just laughs it off, thinking the slangs out of date rather than maybe a decade early.

“Kids? You don’t talk like people your age, you know. You’re a bit looser. And you fling that ‘cock’ around as if you’re not a repressed gay man with a wife.”

Steve shakes his head.

“I’ll have you know, I love my wife. I’m not repressed. People my age can be bi too you know. But why aren’t you out? That’s what you are right? Bi? I get it’s still pretty rough out there but you seem like you’d be fine with ruffling a few feathers. It’s even become fashionable in some circles.”

“I’m Howard Stark’s son.” Tony says simply.

“And you dislike him vehemently.” Steve counters.

“He’s not the only one this could affect.” Tony elaborates, his eyes getting a thoughtful glaze about them.

“That’s surprisingly responsible.” Steve says carefully.

“It’s not. I just love my mom enough to not put her through the media storm.” Says Tony, obviously having thought of this a great deal.

Steve sees a glimpse of Future Tony then. Brash and decadent on the surface, even seeing himself that way, but in truth deeply caring.

Steve smiles fondly and says “I knew there was more to you.”

Steve succeeds in making Tony blush again.

Tony then changes the conversation by picking a generic date question.

“So, what do you do?”

“I’m retired.” Steve replies curtly.

“How’s that treating you?” Tony asks, trying pull out more from the secretive man.

“Still figuring it out. Been looking after the missus and not much else.”

Tony nods.

“Did you retire to care for her?”

“No. Been retired for a while. I’ve been living off that army pension and the wife’s job. We’ve been pretty comfortable.” Steve says with a shrug.

Tony get a thoughtful look in his eyes.

“And that’s enough still? For her treatment?”

Steve gives him knowing look.

“I can already tell what you’re getting at. And yes, it’s enough. Stick to buying the drinks.”

“Right. Sorry.” Tony concedes before pushing on. “Before turning into her nurse then…house husband?”

“Pretty much.”

“And you look this good anyway?”

Steve laughs as Tony looks up and down his person.

“Well, would a guy my age with a job and friends have the time to keep looking like this?” Steve jests, making Tony laugh with him.

“Now, I’m making you laugh. This is turning out better than I thought.”

They spend the rest of breakfast with comfortable conversation, getting to know each other. Asking questions they never asked in that other life. Asking the about the small, intimate things that, though seemingly insignificant, made up a person. Steve feels strangely invigorated, excited and young.

After they finish their food and coffee, Tony begins to excuse himself.

“Hey, I’ve got some things I have to take care of back in campus, but I’d really like to see you again. Maybe, dinner?

“Yeah. I’d love to.”

Tony hands him a napkin and checks his pockets for a pen.

“Right, well. I’m not sure when yet. But, can I have your number?”

Steve brings out a pencil.

“Oh, well, I’ll give you the number to the hotel room. And here’s the phone in the house, in case you call me after Sunday.” Steve says, handing the napkin back.

“Hotel? You’re really not from around here, huh?”

“Yeah. I live in DC.” Steve looks back sheepishly, thinking he'd just discouraged Tony by the distance.

Suddenly, a ringing noise is coming out of Tony’s pocket.

He takes out a mobile phone and immediately hangs up.

“Nice phone.”

“Surprised you know what it is, old timer.” Tony teases.

“Military. You know we get to play with the good stuff first.”

Tony shrugs and says. “Could be better.”

They make their way out of the café and the phone rings again.

“Ugh!” Tony grunts hanging up again.

“Who was that?” Asks Steve.

“No one important. I’ll see you then?” Tony asks with a hopeful smile.

Steve smiles back, happy that he hadn't discouraged Tony after all.

“Looking forward to it.”

They both reach out for a hug but remembers where they are and settles for an awkward handshake that they both laugh off.

Both of them have grins on their faces. They says their goodbyes but being reluctant to leave, Tony starts to walk away backwards. Not wanting take his eyes off of Steve, It takes him a while to really move with purpose. And even as he truly walks away, he couldn’t help but turn back around to get another look at the man.

Steve is surprised by the uncontrollable attraction that suddenly sprung from what he’d only intended to be a short visit. He’d only intended to see this Tony, to satisfy a curiosity. He never expected to get to know the young man. He certainly didn’t expect to have the man look utterly smitten with him. He knows that pursuing Tony is ill advised but he can’t really bring himself to reject what’s before him now.


	6. Chapter 6

It didn’t take long for Tony to call. By that night he’d already had a reservation for Saturday at some upscale Mediterranean place that Steve had to buy a new blazer to not feel out of place in. Steve didn’t mind though, it was a good opportunity to get something more fashionable and sophisticated to wear.

Not necessarily trendy but more of a classic slim cut. Having lived in the twenty first century, Steve has decided that the boxy 90s suits only worked for men in the movies of the period, and occasionally some adventurous women. He’d decided on something age appropriate but didn’t make him look like he was having dinner with his son.

He oddly hears the older Tony's voice in his head, saying 'daddy material' like some ghostly wingman.

Steve was early, so he sat in his new double breasted tweed, drawing on a napkin with a short Steadtler pencil. This is how Tony finds him. And the younger man just had to take a moment to absorb the sight before him. He can’t help but smile at the tall, well-dressed man hunched over the table, with his soft blond hair falling over twinkling blue eyes.

“Are you an engineer too? You weren’t trying to steal my ideas that day were you?” Tony asks teasingly.

Steve looks up from his work, and immediately decides that the boxy grey suit and white t-shirt combo works just fine on Tony.

“What?” Steve asks, realizing that the younger man had asked him something.

Tony nods towards his choice drawing instrument.

“No! I’m…I was…I was an illustrator way back.”

They stare at each other for a moment before Steve offers Tony a seat.

“Shall we order?” Steve asks.

“Let’s.”

They’re quiet for some time, awkwardly asking about each other’s day, making small talk and asking about food options. It’s a curious development given their easy banter during their last encounter. Thankfully, Tony’s mobile phone rings to break the silence.

Tony rejects the call and apologizes to Steve.

“Why do you have it on you if you never answer it?” Steve asks with a chuckle.

“It’s not the phone, it’s the caller.” Tony shrugs.

The phone rings again and Tony decides to just turn it off.

“Seems persistent.” Steve comments.

Tony grunts and says “My dad's haranguing me about coming home for the holidays. My parents are going on a trip without me this Christmas. So, I'm the one getting stood up this season, yet I'm the one who needs to adjust my calendar? How about no!”

Steve suddenly feels chastised, being reminded of who Tony’s parents are.

“They're still your parents. And why not? You've got most of your work done, haven't you?” says Steve.

“Well, there's something else keeping me here.” Tony says flirtatiously.

Steve shakes his head “I don't want to be the reason you skip time with your family, Tony.”

“You’re not! Like I said, it's dad's fault for moving things around. Besides, if they'd be cool with me bringing my married, fifty-something boyfriend, we'd be there right now. But my dad is my dad and it's his own damn fault.”

“I’m your boyfriend now?” Steve asks sheepishly.

Tony pauses. His use of the word was meant to be comical but faced with the question, he’s suddenly shy, yet hopeful.

“Problem?” Tony asks with some artificial bravado.

Steve smiles.

“No. Just seems a bit early for that. And I’ve just never been anyone’s boyfriend before.”

“What!” Tony exclaims with a frown.

Steve shrugs and stumbles over his words in mild embarrassment.

“I didn’t really date when I was your age. And the very few people I had relationships with before marriage, didn’t really do the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Might have been too old for it by then.”

Tony raises an eyebrow.

“So, they’re either your soulmate or a hook up? Wait, what do you mean few?”

Steve bites his lip with a grimace before saying “I mean there haven’t been many.”

“How? You’re gorgeous!” Tony asks with genuine bewilderment.

Steve chuckles shyly.

“Thanks but…I guess I was a late bloomer.”

“That’s insane! What did you look like?” Tony questions him further.

“Short. Skinny…”

“But you looked like you?”

“Well…Yeah?”

“No busted teeth? Crooked nose? A massive mole?”

“No?”

“Then I don’t get it. The people you were hanging out with back then must not have had any taste.” Tony theorized. “I would have been all over you if you were my age.”

Steve blushes at this but he’s saved from making an immediate response by a waiter setting down their food. A few bites later into the meal seems like an odd time to respond, but Steve just had to ask.

“You weren’t really holding back the other night. What changed?”

Tony sputters for a moment before responding.

“Well, for one, we’re in a public place. And second, I was in a bit of a rush then. I thought it’d be my only shot with you. But a better opportunity presented itself.” Tony looks a bit smug saying this.

“Better how?”

“I can get to know you on top of just…you being on top of me.” Tony smiles suggestively.

They laugh together and with that, they’re back in their rhythm. They have a pleasant meal with even better conversation. It’s as playful as before, inching into risqué. And maybe it’s this that gets them into trouble, or maybe they’re just far too loud.

They call the waiter back to order dessert but he isn’t as cheery as they remember.

“Look boys, I’m not prejudiced. But this is a respectable establishment and there have been some complaints.” The waiter says as delicately as he can manage.

Steve frowns at this and Tony, remembering the outburst from the bar, grabs his hand to stop him from doing anything rash. This gets them even more attention. They look around and notice the abundance of disapproving sneers from the mostly aged and loaded clientele.

“I guess we’ll look for dessert elsewhere!” says Steve, slamming some cash onto the table.

He pulls Tony from his seat and they make their way to the exit. All the while, Steve makes a show of holding the younger man close by his waist. Tony faintly hears someone whisper “I’m pretty sure that was Howard Stark’s son.”

* * *

They walk aimlessly for some time. Steve has since let go of Tony’s waist and was now walking with his hands shoved into his pockets.

“You shouldn’t have let him keep the change.” Says Tony, checking to see if the man has cooled down

“What?” Steve asks, a slight edge still in his tone.

“The change. Dad may be loaded but I’m not above under-tipping for bad service.” Tony says with a smirk.

“Bad service? Is that what you’d call that? Steve snaps.

“Doesn’t matter what I’d call it.” Tony says calmly.

“It’s fucking 1991! I thought people were meant to be at least subtle with their bigotry these days.” Steve continues to rant.

“Depends on your experience, I guess.” Tony says with a shrug.

“It’s a college town, for Christ’s sake! Aren’t people supposed to be a bit more liberal in these parts?”

“I just picked the wrong restaurant.” Tony says dismissively.

Steve looks back at him. He takes a deep breath to calm himself down. Tony helps with a comforting hand on his shoulder, discreetly toying with the hairs at Steve’s nape.

“Hey, come on. I know a spot with some killer cream puffs. They should still be open.” Tony says with a pat on Steve’s back.

“Sorry.” Steve mumbles.

Tony smiles at him fondly.

“Don’t. It was kinda sexy. Just surprised. You’ve got a temper on you, old man.”

The tension on Steve’s shoulders dissolves and he smiles back at Tony.

“I really want to kiss you right now.” Steve says as he looks around for any eavesdroppers.

“The night's still young. You might just get to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ring ring call waiting...


	7. Chapter 7

They're walking to Tony's apartment, both with a cream puff in hand. This time the silence isn't awkward. They're just enjoying each other's company.

'Gazing lovingly at each other. Just a couple of saps.' Tony thinks, before he laughs at Steve who is struggle with the oozing custard.

"What are you laughing at?" asks Steve, trying to hold back his own laughter.

"You!"

Steve looks his date over before saying “Well at least I'm trying to stay clean. You still haven't wiped the custard on your nose.”

“What?” Tony crosses his eye to look.

Steve laughs out loud now, earning himself a shush from a window they're passing under.

He mumbled a sorry before wiping Tony's nose with his finger. He licks the custard off after, making Tony blush.

They find themselves at Tony’s building just as they finish their deserts.

"You…wanna come up for a night cap?" Tony asks shyly.

Steve shrugs before saying "Depends on your definition of a night cap."

Tony looks around to make sure that the coast is clear, before stepping closer to take the leftover caramel-y paper liner in Steve’s hand. He scrunches it up with one hand and laces the sticky fingers of the other with Steve’s own sticky fingers.

"Whatever strikes your fancy." Tony offers.

Steve looks down at their hands entwined before saying "Well, you did promise me a kiss."

"Well, I don't think I promised. I'm pretty sure I just alluded to the possibility…" Tony says teasingly.

Steve chuckles and says "How about a splash of your good whiskey then?"

“Done.” Tony says with a nod.

“And some hand soap. I am covered in caramel.”

Tony raises a brow before saying “Well, that’s an idea.”

And they laugh some more on their way up.

They find themselves slouched on Tony’s couch. Very close, each with a dram in hand, yet still not touching. Just Steve’s fingers ghosting across Tony’s nape.

It doesn’t take long for Tony to get tired of the teasing and make a move. He dives forward, barely mindful of the filled glasses they are both holding, and takes Steve by his nape. Steve, ever responsible takes both glasses and sets them on the low table, without removing his lips from Tony’s.

Hands free, Steve fully commits to the kiss. He holds Tony close with both hands on the younger man's cheeks. The kiss is frantic. Soon caressing hands get grabby, pulling at hair and clothes. They part to take a breath and they survey each other’s appearance. Both their collars are askew. Tony’s shirt is half way unbuttoned and Steve’s belt is undone.

“Jamie.” Tony breathes out.

Steve is taken aback for a beat. He almost forgot that he'd given Tony Bucky's name instead of his own.

“I don't...” Tony starts just as Steve says “I should...”

After another false start, Tony says “You go first.”

“No, you.” Steve insists.

Tony pauses, mustering up some courage he didn’t realize he needed.

“I know this is odd coming from me but, maybe we shouldn't. I don't think we should sleep together...yet.” Tony says with some reluctance.

Steve is surprised but smiles back with fondness.

“Right...Well, I was gonna say I should probably be going.” He stands to fix his belt. “I'm flying out tomorrow afternoon.”

Tony suddenly has a sinking feeling.

“Oh. Well…If this is our last shot, I’ve got an alarm clock…” Tony tries to say in a nonchalant way but Steve sees through it.

“I want to come back.” Steve says to reassure him.

“Oh. Good…then.” Tony says as his blush gets brighter.

Seeing that words aren’t enough to reassure Tony, Steve leans back down for a short yet passionate kiss.

“Come back.” Says Tony, this time without pretense.

Steve smiles and says “I’ll call you.”

* * *

They part ways that night in high spirits. It is only on the flight home that the weight of the situation returns for Steve and there is only one thing he knows that could ease it. He doesn’t even bother to drop of his bag at home, let alone attend to any errands and calls he’s left pending for his little trip, before going to Peggy’s care home.

Steve takes a moment at the doorway to smile fondly at his wife who was read a book on quantum mechanics.

"Are you going to ogle from there all day or are you going to sit?” She asks without sparing him a glance.

He chuckles and takes a seat beside her bed before asking “Light reading?”

“It’s best to stay sharp. There might not be a cure, but I don’t plan on going out without a fight.” Peggy says defiantly.

Steve’s smile remains on his lips but leaves his eyes as he says “Nor would I expect you to.”

Peggy turns to him now, looking at him searchingly.

“How are you?” Steve beats her to the question.

“Question is, ‘how are _you_?’” She throws back at him.

He slumps forward and lays his head on her stomach.

“How do you always know?” he mumbles into her blanket.

She runs her fingers through his hair before whispering “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

They share a laugh before Steve leans in for a kiss. It doesn’t however distract Peggy from her worries.

“How far away is it?” She asks.

Knowing what she means, Steve answers “Just months now.”

“Months? Already?” Peggy looks surprised and turns to the calendar on her bedside table.

“Yeah.” Steve confirms weakly.

Peggy caresses his cheek and says “Sorry, my darling. Sometimes, even the year escapes me.”

Steve shakes his head, moving to the bed to embrace her tightly.

“You don't have to explain.”

“Oh Steve.”

He hides his head further into the crook of her neck.

“Every day it gets harder to resist looking for him. Like this old bag of bones could still go up against the Winter Soldier.” He says with a self-deprecating scoff.

“Hardly a bag of bones.”

“I know I can't change what happens, but if only I could spare him…all of them, from some of the suffering.”

Peggy pulls away to look Steve in the eyes.

“We can’t know if interfering would make things better or worse.”

“I know. But sometimes I think of warning Howard. He thinks we've told him all the important stuff. It's selfish but, I'm afraid that in his last moments, he's going to realize that I’ve lied. That not only is an old friend going to kill him but an old friend also decided not to save him.”

“He’d understand the need for secrecy.” Peggy insists.

“And when would he have the time to understand that?” Steve raises his voice in frustration.

Peggy gives him a lightly chastising look and he immediately apologizes.

Peggy punches him playfully on the shoulder and he apologizes again. And somehow, Peggy knew he was apologizing for something else.

“There has been something keeping my mind from it from time to time, though.” Steve starts.

“That's good.” Peggy's face brightens but Steve continues with a shake of his head.

“No, Peg. I’m not so sure if it is...I've met someone.” He says hesitantly.

Peggy steels herself before saying “Well, I did tell you...”

“I never intended... It just happened.”

With Steve panicking now, Peggy holds him by his shoulders to reassure him.

“Steve. Do you still love me?” she asks in a calm but firm voice.

"Of course, I love you!" Steve says almost desperately.

"Then there's nothing to apologize for."

"Peggy...I always said that you're the love of my life." says Steve.

"And considering how many lives you've lived, you're bound to have a few of those. Darling, the moment I met Sargent Barnes, I knew you had too much love in you to just give to one. I may have not taken it well then, but I knew. Now, tell me about this ‘someone’.

Steve is still unsure but he takes a deep breath and begins.

"He..."

She interrupts him immediately with a strangely proud smile. He rolls his eyes at this before continuing.

“Yes! He…is a lot younger than me.” He says with a cringe.

“Well, that goes for a lot of people.” She teases.

“Thanks.” He replies sarcastically.

He gives her quite a comprehensive description of the character of his new…boyfriend? But thankfully, he escapes having to give Peggy any damning details, certainly not a name to go with the description. Though knowing Peggy and how uneasy Steve himself was with having a ‘boyfriend’, she probably allowed him that little bit of mystery

* * *

Back in Cambridge, Tony enters a restaurant and spots his best friend.

"Hey Rhodey!" He says rather loudly, startling Rhodes as he plops himself down on the seat opposite him.

"Hey man. What's got you all chipper this afternoon? I'm guessing the presentation went well."

"Was there ever any doubt?" Tony says smugly and Rhodey chuckles with him.

But Rhodes can tell there's something else and he prods Tony for it. Tony checks himself and sniggers under his breath before attempting an explanation.

"I..."

"You...What?"

He bites his lip, weirdly nervous, or rather excited.

"I met someone."

Rhodes chuckles at this before humoring his friend.

"And? What's her name?"

"James." Tony whispers.

Shrugging off his surprise, he decides to tease Tony a bit.

"I always knew you wanted me."

Tony shoves him playfully and says "Shut up! I’m serious."

Rhodes looks over his friend more closely this time, seeing an earnestness in Tony's glee that has never been there before.

"Yeah, you are. Tony, I saw you last week. How are you this serious, this fast? Or at all, since it's you we're talking about here." Rhodey is suddenly very concerned.

"He's just a really great guy." Tony says with a shrug.

Rhodes takes another moment to look him over then says "Alright, I need details."

And Tony gives him those detail, though not without the occasional gushing and starry-eyed looks.

"A married man, Tony? Are you sure about this?"

Rhodey sounds utterly scandalized and Tony scoffs at him.

"He said his wife's fine with it?"

"And you believed him!" Rhodey raises his voice as loud as he can without alerting the other patrons of the restaurant.

"He could have just kept the married part from me if he was trying to trick me! But he volunteered that info, man." Tony rationalizes.

"He also said he didn’t recognize you. Kinda sounds like a misdirection."

"I just told you how he was when I got drunk the other night!" Tony insists.

"Maybe sex isn't what he's after." Rhodes suggests.

Tony scoffs again.

"He’s not some corporate spy, Rhodey."

"And you know this how? How old even is this guy?"

Tony shrugs, not being able to answer with more than "Middle aged."

"Well, that's specific." Rhodey replies sarcastically.

"What was I supposed to do, ask for a birth certificate? I know you’re worried but if you’ve met him, espionage wouldn’t even cross your mind."

Rhodey shakes his head before saying "Sounds like you’re thinking with what’s between your legs here, Tony."

"Yeah, well, he’s hot! But he’s also sweet and unassuming…and middle aged! My love life is public knowledge, Rhodey. The world's got an idea of what I'm into. Why would anyone send someone like Jamie to seduce me?"

Rhodey accepts his argument with a reluctant nod.

"Point taken. It still sounds like a bad idea. But you do seen happy. And not like it's a laugh and you're having fun kind of happy, which is more your usual with bad ideas. Like, genuinely happy." He says letting a little smile creep into his expression.

"I am." Tony says, that earnestness peaking through once again.

Rhodes takes a breath before he finally yields.

"You still just met this guy...But fine. I'm not gonna stop you. I want you to be happy. Just be on your guard, yeah? And you've always got me if things do go sideways. And if it doesn't, I'm down to be your best man in your super secret gay wedding."

Tony rolls his eyes playfully before saying "That’s presumptuous of you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I moved to a new cave and just got internet like five minutes ago.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Steggy chapter ahead.  
> btw if you don't think old folks can be sexy...Helen Mirren.

Steve sorted through all the bills and errands he’d left unattended in his absence, and cleaned the house he’s barely ever in, which takes all of one day. He then spends the rest of the week with his wife.

Tuesday was warm and spent taking in the gardens of Peggy’s care home. It drizzled on Wednesday and they spent it reading in her rooms. Thursday morning was difficult, with Peggy insisting that her condition was not as advanced as the nurses say and she needed to go into work. She’d not been convinced of the time and place until midday and Steve proceeded to hold her all evening, comforting her and discouraging her persistent apologies.

Steve thought she deserves a treat for the following day if she felt up to it. Peggy always believed that additional stimulation, a run out as it were, was needed after she goes ‘a bit out of it.’ The therapists at the care home used to advise against it though they could no longer deny that historically, Peggy was always better for longer with the occasional time out.

Unfortunately, relatives came around unannounced at noon Friday, and Steve had to make himself scarce until dinner. They barely make their reservation but here they are, at a favorite little upscale bistro for a dinner show.

Peggy looked perfect in her red dress with her hair done up. Beautiful and intimidating, she looked more like herself than she has in a while, with a gentle smirk on her lips as she looked over the menu. Nothing at all alluding to her troubles from the previous day. But of course, Steve still worried.

“How are you doing there, Peg?” he asks cautiously after giving a polite smile to their waiter.

“I think I’ll go with the chicken.” Says Peggy, pointedly ignoring Steve’s worried eyes.

Steve goes for the roast and the waiter is sent off. Steve now turns his attention back to his wife.

“Right. I was rather asking if this isn’t too much. We could always take the food to go.” He suggests.

Peggy reaches out to take his hand and smiles teasingly. “Nonsense, we’re already here and Maxwell will be on the piano soon.”

Steve nod with a smirk.

“I would never deprive you of Max’ music but after your cousins this afternoon, I thought you’d be exhausted.”

“I’m fine, my darling, if not a bit miffed that we didn’t get the chance to go to that gallery opening. I was quite intrigued by the line up I saw in the magazine.” She says with a shake of her head.

The drinks and appetizers arrive, and they pause to thank their server before the young man is off away again.

“I checked the dates for it and the exhibition will be on for three more weeks. We could go next week if you like.” Steve proposes.

Peggy pauses for a moment, confusion crossing her face briefly.

“Oh, I see. I rather thought you’d be returning to Cambridge next week.” She says tentatively.

Now, it’s Steve’s turn to be surprised.

“Oh.”

Peggy waves him off.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have assumed.”

“No. No Peg, it’s quite alright.” Steve insists. “We’d never really discussed…how we should talk about this, did we? This is an odd arrangement.”

Peggy reaches for his hand again, to reassure him.

“Steve, I knew that if you were ever to follow my suggestion that you’d be splitting your attention between two lovers.”

“Peg!” Steve whispers a warning.

She rolls her eyes at this and says “Oh hush, no one heard.”

“We’re not lovers.” Says Steve.

“Yet. Flirtations tend to progress when you let them.” She says teasingly.

Steve shakes his head, clearly troubled.

“Splitting my attention is to be expected, I suppose, but splitting my time week to week makes me uncomfortable. It’s like arranging a timeshare.” He says with a cringe.

Peggy pats his hand lightly though reprimanding.

“I didn’t intend it like that. I don’t expect you to give us a schedule. I just mean he must miss you. And you miss him.”

Steve scoots closer to take both her hands, holding them close to his chest.

“What we have is a contract of marriage, a contract of the heart.”

Peggy frees one of her hands from his hold to caress his cheek.

“Well, it may not be as formal or even as deep as what we have, but surely you have an unspoken agreement with him too. I see it in your eyes, my darling. To break his heart would break yours.”

Steve smiles at her thankfully and Peggy chuckles at his dramatic old self. She slaps his cheek playfully to get him out of his mood.

“Come. Come. Think on it later. Our food’s here and Max is about to play.”

Steve shakes of his concerns for a few hours. They enjoy the food, the music and the tiny dance floor. They sit back down for dessert with some sherry. They even indulge in a third dessert to share. The evening was quite lovely.

It’s when they’re waiting to catch a cab that Peggy sees Steve’s concerns creep back in.

She squeezes him to her side suddenly to get his attention. He smiles down at her lovingly though still unable to straighten his furrowed brow.

“Take me to our bed tonight, my darling.”

Steve, surprised and ever so concerned, begins to say “Peggy, we don’t have to…”

“This hair took forever to do.” Peggy cuts in. “And I can’t even get a man to unravel it for me? I must be losing my touch.”

Steve chuckles at this before burying his face into the crook of her neck.

“I’d be honored to utterly ravage you, Director Carter.” He whispers into her ear and she giggles, tickled by his breath.

“Thank you for your service, Captain.” she replies saucily.

And with that he gives her a smile before shouting for a taxi.

They make their way home, to the room that they so miss sharing. They make love that night several times. Steve is frankly impressed with his wife keeping up with him, particularly at her age. Though her appearance barely gives it away, they have to come up for air eventually.

“Allow me a moment, darling. We're not all built like you.” Peggy says breathily as she sinks into her pillow.

Steve chuckles. He looks down at himself and say “Honestly, I may not be entirely exhausted but parts of me certainly are.”

Peggy turns on her side to embrace him, tracing circles on his bare chest. Steve pulls her in close.

“Not out breath but out of something else, are you?” She wiggles her brows suggestively.

“Afraid so. Might take a few minutes.”

“Minutes?” Peggy’s asks, mildly surprised.

“Well, the serum does seem to have diminished effects with age, but not a whole lot yet in that regard. Skin though…” He points to his eyes and Peggy proceeds to shove him playfully.

“The Crow’s Feet make you look rather distinguished. Now, just hold me a while.”

* * *

Peggy wakes up to the smell of eggs and bacon. She takes her time walking through the house, touching the wallpaper, and scanning the bric-a-brac they’ve accumulated over the years. Steve said it’s been around two months since she’d been home, but be it due to her condition or not, it feels longer.

“You okay?” Steve asks as she enters the kitchen.

“Yeah. It’s just surprising what you end up missing.” she replies wistfully.

“Well, you wouldn’t miss me so much if we did it in your rooms. Isn’t that why we got the fancy suite?” Steve teases to lighten the mood.

“Ugh! I could never get the hang of it!" Peggy says with a cringe. "What if we accidently gave someone a heart attack because of our risqué activities?”

“Don’t you want to make the neighbors jealous?" Steve raises a suggestive brow.

“Of what? My fully functional pelvis?” She chuckles as she sits herself down at the dinette.

Steve then leans in, low on the table as if to say something of grave importance.

“Do you want your smoothie now or after breakfast?”

“No! Not the green sludge!” Peggy protests immediately.

“Smoothie." Steve corrects her. "And that is the price of getting to eat bacon instead of care home food.”

Peggy takes a deep breath, steeling herself and says “Fine. I’ll take it now.” making Steve laugh at his wife's antics.

* * *

As she sips at her tea, Peggy watches Steve eat his larger portion. She spots a familiar look in her husbands eyes and sighs.

"What's the matter, my darling?" she asks.

And as expected, Steve replies with "Nothing."

Shaking her head, she probes further.

"Steve, you can't still be feeling guilty about the lover I practically pushed you into getting?"

"It's not that." Steve insists.

"Then what is it?"

He huffs before saying "We rarely have moments like this anymore."

It didn't even have to be said, Peggy already knew that Steve was on another self-critical kick.

"Steve, you didn't give me this sickness!" Peggy insists.

"But I knew it was coming!"

Peggy takes a hand to squeeze.

"And we are limited by the technology of this time. Primitive preventive measures could only postpone this for so long. And even in the future you came from, there is still no cure. You're not a doctor, Steve. It's not your job to heal me."

"But pursuing someone else feels like seeking out what we share from someone else."

Peggy shakes her head at this.

"And you say it’s not about that. We've gone over this!"

"Well, it wasn't about that but it's a little bit about that now after you've mentioned it!"

Steve stands, finished with his food, and he brings his plate to the sink. And he just stays there, slouched and dejected. Peggy follow him there and embraces him from behind.

"But that's not what _this_ is. If it was, paying someone to go on a fancy dinner and have sex with is far less complicated that actually having a relationship with someone, let alone someone a great deal younger than yourself. And spending one’s days watching me go through a care home's library isn't something one does for kicks. Now, like you said, we rarely have moments like this."

Peggy gently turns him to face her.

“I should have waited, until we've had them all together.” says Steve.

“No, Steve. You can't pick when you catch feelings for someone.”

“I can pick when to act on them.”

Peggy takes his cheek in hand.

“All our vows, all of them were to love one another, but not one was a vow to live for one another. That’s not something you ever asked of me and I sure as hell would never ask it of you. So, how about we stop wasting time on doubts and enjoy the time we have?”

It takes a moment, but Steve eventually nods in agreement, and she pulls him down for a kiss.

It's when they're back in bed, tangled in each other again that Steve says “For the record, I like watching you read.”

“Oh, I've noticed.” Peggy teases.

“Why do you make me sound so creepy?” Steve grumbles jokingly.

“I'm making you sound like a love sick fool, which you are.” she corrects him.

Steve chuckles burying his face into her hair.

“So, when do you plan on going?” asks Peggy rather abruptly.

Steve pulls away and teases.

“Eager to be rid of me?”

But Peggy chooses to be serious this time.

“I’ll be blunt.”

“When are you not?” Steve asks, trying to keep the mood light.

Peggy hugs him tightly.

“I like having you around, in sickness and in health.” She says insistently. “I like being part of your happiness and I want to be there for you when you're hurting. But the helplessness that comes from watching your guilt when you've witnessed too many of my episodes in a row, it weighs on a heart.”

Peggy holds up a hand before Steve could give another apology.

“I do not resent you for your guilt, they’re your emotions, and you have a right to them. But if I can spare you from that guilt even for a moment, by giving you a break, by allowing you some other happiness even it's not from me, I will.”

Steve smiles at her, eyes glistening somewhat.

“I don't deserve you.”

“Well, I hardly deserve a man who would travel through time just be with me.” Peggy says, back in her playful tone.

“Yeah, you do!" Steve insists rather animatedly. "Frankly, you shouldn't have had to wait as long as you did for that man. You had a career to build. You had men lining up for you for miles. And all this closet space you could have had all to yourself! Terribly sorry for the inconvenience, ma'am.”

Peggy giggles at his theatrics but then looks at him expectantly, as if to say ‘Don’t make me ask again’.

Steve yields and says “I should probably call ahead first. I’m sure he has other things occupying him.”

Peggy rolls her eyes at this.

“Trust me, my darling. If he’s any bit as interested in you as I am, even with me who deliberately tries to keep mentally busy, the mind does tend drift to you several times a day…at least twice a day.”

“That’s very specific.” Steve frowns incredulously.

“I have very healthy libido for someone my age.” Peggy says plainly.

“I concur.” Steve nods enthusiastically but then Peggy sends him another curveball.

“Do you think I should make a call too? To Howard, I mean. Say goodbye as vaguely as I could in the guise of simply catching up? Is it as close as that?” she asks.

“It is.” Steve practically whispers.

“I think, I’ll call for him to visit then.”

They share a moment of silence, both laying on their backs, staring up at the ceiling. Knowing they both need that reassuring touch, the constancy of their love, this one sure thing in all of time and space (ironic as that is for someone who's been to the future); Steve makes a suggestion.

“Can I ravage you some more before we return to the care home?”

Peggy sighs in mock exasperation.

“If you must…No, actually. Take me back tomorrow instead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *black screen, white text*  
> Tony Stark will return in ~~The Avengers~~  
> ...I mean the next chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments will be appreciated.


End file.
